Tracisms

Here are a few.....

I'm going down in a flame of fire!
This is what I said one aternoon when in response to the relentless teasing I was receiving for my tracisms.  What made this so hilarious was that I meant to say, "I'm going down in a blaze of glory!" I think we laughed for 5 minutes straight without even stopping to breath!!
Close one eye and tie the other behind your back.
This is what I said to Jay before a ping pong match.  Obviously I meant he needed to tie one hand behind his back because everyone knows you can't tie an eye!
She didn't ship up so we shaped her out
BACKGROUND INFO: My 3 year old has issues.......one of them being that she is incredibly stubborn.  She also refuses to get into her carseat and be buckled.  One day I was threatening to dump her out on the sidewalk and drive away....this would have been excuse for doing so.  

I kind of think that's not illegal.
One of my many comments that I have made while commenting on bad drivers. BACKGROUND INFO: I see a lot of bad drivers. In this instance the person was doing something totally illegal.  I meant to say "that's illegal" but was thinking "that's not allowed" and it got mixed up.